Heidibieber & Spencerbieber

Rising to fame on a half real reality TV show, Heidibieber & Spencerbieber quickly established themselves as the couple everyone loves to hate... just without the 'loves to' part. Two of the most annoying personalities to have ever found their 15 minutes of fame, they have pretended to be married, pretended to break up and pretended to be famous for so long now that nobody actually gives a flying f@#k if they are or are not anything anymore.

Desperately trying to cling to the slippery rails of the highly addictive fame game, Heidibieber has recently had enough plastic surgery to become almost unrecognisable to even her own mother, thus starting a downward spiral that can only end in some tiger woman-like circus freak surgery overload that will unfortunately keep people morbidly interested in watching half hour slots of her twisted wreckage of a face in yet another 'reality' based nightmare.

As for Spencerbieber, while avoiding any obvious surgery mishaps, he seems to have lost his tiny mind somewhere down the back of the couch in their Malibu love (ewww) nest. The thing there too is though, I would pay good money to watch Spencerbieber lose whats left of his sanity, as long I was seated a safe distance from him when he finally loses it and snaps and starts shooting people on the beach. Look behind those crazed eyes and creepy flesh coloured beard and you will see the face of a serial killer set for a public melt-down so huge that Britneybieber and her umbrella attack will seem like a cute little Christmas pantomime show.

It's a sickness we all share, an addiction to want to watch this satanic version of Barbie and Ken fall apart literally and figuratively in front of our eyes on television, and the only hope of a cure is their eventual B-grade celebrity death march to Hell. And have no fear when it happens, there will be a camera there... even if it's only Spencerbieber's iPhone catching all the action.

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